I lost Kenobi a couple of weeks ago. I thought it would get easier, but it hasn't. I'm consumed by grief. I cry. I can't sleep. I check to see if he has water, but his bowls aren't there. I suppose it goes to show what a special dog he was by how big a hole he left in my heart. I'm struggling to deal with his loss, so I will try to remember the joy he brought to my life.
Kenobi loved blankets. He completely wrapped himself up in them. All the time. He did it in my bed. He did it in my office. He always had to have blankets. It didn't matter if they were his blankets or mine. Who am I kidding? They were all his.
Just like these clothes...Dave made the mistake of leaving clothes on the floor. Well, Kenobi saw that as a bed. Clothes or jackets left on the floor became instant Kenobi beds. They didn't even have to be left on the floor. If I left my clean laundry on the bed and walked into another room, I'd come back to find Kenobi on top of it.
I work from home, so Kenobi kept me company every day in my office. When I needed a break, I could go over and get a hug or a snuggle. I took breaks to walk him during the day, too.
Kenobi slept in bed with me. He especially liked to snuggle next to me under the blankets. He would stand by my head near my pillow and wait for me to lift up the blankets so he could go under. If I didn't do it right away, he'd stare at me. Then he'd start to lift up the edge of the blankets with his nose to try to give me a hint.
Kenobi was loving and friendly and his tail was always wagging.
When I moved in with Dave, Kenobi opened his heart to him, just as Dave did to Kenobi. It was great to see how much they bonded. Dave said it was easy to love Kenobi because I loved him so much that it was infectious. Dave misses Kenobi, too.
Kenobi liked to watch tv.
Sometimes we watched tv in bed, and sometimes he would sit on the couch next to me.
When Kenobi was younger, we'd go on long walks together. He loved meeting other dogs and new people. Once he got older, he preferred to lounge around.
Kenobi loved the sun. If he could find any spot on the floor where the sun was shining, that's where he would lie down. He really loved being outside in the sun. I'm thankful that on our last day together, I worked outside on the deck for a few hours, and Kenobi was outside with me, lying in the sun.
I think back to when I first brought him home. He was about one and a half years old when I adopted him from a beagle rescue. I thought to myself- What will our relationship be like? Will I love this little stranger? Will we get along? Will he be a good dog?
It seems so long since he was that little bundle of energy, with so much more brown hair.
How could I have known that he would be the best dog I ever could have hoped for? He was my companion and my friend. He made me happy. He was a part of me.
I'm grateful for every day we had together. I miss him. I feel the pain of his loss every day. I just want to kiss him on the head and give him a hug one more time. I loved him. I still love him. I hope he knew how much. I think he did.
Goodbye my sweet boy. You'll always be in my heart.
